Self-pity

She looks so perfect not standing there,
Light dancing through her hair,
Hand clasped in my mine
We’ll be just fine-
But we’re not.
Where’d you go when I asked about you?
You turned away.
I don’t understand, what did I do?
Whose fault is it anyway
Is there a problem,
Have I been blind,
Is this all an illusion
Was I an intrusion to your perfect life?

Doomed to wander, then.
Doomed to a reclusive life amidst the throngs of beating hearts,
Everyone’s heart beating for someone and someone in return beats
For them, and the world goes round.
But it stopped. The world stopped turning.
Can’t you all tell? Don’t you feel the earth striving to push you back as
You try and force your feet forward along the top of it?
No, you can’t. You float along with your reality-deceiving love.
The world has stopped turning.
So I wander, on this non-spinning orb of rock and carbon, polluted by the
Shared breath of lovers as they delight in their match, their breath
Hot, steamy, and loathsome to me as I envy the beauty that they are, two
Halves of one heart coming together
-Who’s got the other half of my heart?

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